Poorly Written Song Commercials

I’m not talking about jingles. 1-800-267-2001. If you’re Canadian, I just got that stuck in your head right? Anyways, this post is about poorly written songs in commercials that don’t rhyme, and aren’t memorable in any way except for their suckiness. The most recent being this one which reiterates in different forms all over the Food Network.

Now did that entice you to buy chocolate in any way? Side note: I can’t believe people in the Youtube comments actually inquire the name/artist of the song as if it is legitimate.

However, the most guilty culprit of horrible commercials lies not in adult products, but the ones directed to little girls. For example, watch ANY Barbie commercial:

Who gets hired to sing these things? Do they make a lot of money? If so, where do I sign? This does rhyme, but the song itself isn’t really doing anything except singing what they are doing. Imagine if I was going through my day singing what I am doing in rhyme.

“I AM WAKING UP NOW. GOING TO DRINK SOME MILK OUT OF A COW.”

To be fair Barbie used to have good commercials. For instance this first commercial ever seems to have a better song. Or maybe everything sounds better when it’s sung in 1959 swing style.

This doesn’t seem to be the case for toys targeted to boys. They get more epic sounding songs with very enthusiastic voice-overs.

That looks fuckin’ awesome. Girls have to deal with more of these:

FYI, I always thought boys had cooler toys. I think my disdain for barbies, dolls and ponies comes from the fact that my ears were pretty musically trained at a young age. My future children are going watch their television streaming so they will never have to suffer through these.

What horrible song commercial have you seen lately? Perhaps it is too terrible to remember.

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No, I Don’t Want To Hear Your Sob Story


I don’t know what it is with television, especially reality TV shows that are competitions. X Factor, American Idol, even the various things on the FOOD NETWORK. Why is it that the person with the best SOB story always wins?. Continue reading

You Are Never To Old For An Imagination

I’m the last person in the world to probably act my age. If you meet me I’m both the most hard-working and motivated person you’ll ever meet, but at the same time the most strange and silly if you get close enough. I’ll also probably look like I’m 15 til I’m 40.

What triggered this fascination for imagination was the cartoon Adventure Time, which I didn’t know was more than just a viral pilot episode. The cartoon has some of the most ridiculously adorable and imaginative characters and plots. I showed an episode to some of my friends, but they were not into it. They thought it too random, but isn’t that the point?

In a fast-paced technology world we live in today, I sometimes like to wonder if old-school imagination still exists. I’m an odd one who doodles and writes stories and things on my spare time, but where do other people have an outlet for imagination? Continue reading

Extreme Couponing… in Moderation

If you haven’t heard of TLC’s smash hit Extreme Couponing, it is pretty much what it sounds like. The show features some of US’s crazy couponers. People who go through websites, garbage dumps and stealing neighbours newspapers in order to buy $600 worth of items for a penny. Most of these people seem like hoarders because they have stock piles of things in their homes that consist of 100 of each item. Those people are overdoing it a little bit, but there’s no reason why you can’t save money by using similar strategies.

Ever since watching the show, me and my sister have been finding ways to save money. We’re pretty well off family, but there’s quite a thrill from paying almost nothing for things. It’s probably the same sort of thrill thieves get from stealing, but in a legal sort of way. And hey, things add up, so maybe you can justify spending $500 on that purse you really want if you can save $500 worth in goods. We live in Canada so some of the rules in couponing are a little bit different, more strict, than in that of the show, but that doesn’t make it impossible. You just can’t do things like stack 2 coupons for 1 item (ex two 50cent coupons to equal a dollar off). Here are some Canadian tips to couponing. Continue reading