It’s no secret here that I talk openly about mental health. Every January, I have participated in #BellLetstalk, a campaign where Bell will donate 5 cents to mental health programs with every tweet that has the hashtag. There’s a lot of people out there who are rightly critical about the corporate agenda, but as I spoke last year, one day is better than none.
I would’ve killed to feel less alone in 2009, to read the tweets of thousands of millions of people who were in similar situations. It would’ve been wonderful to read the tales of how some overcome their illnesses or how others live with them. I shared my own battle with anxiety here. There was a period of time where I thought exiting this world would be easier than staying in it.
Thankfully, I am still here and willing to share my stories so that I can save someone else’s life. That’s why this day is important. If somebody reads a tweet and it saves their life, even if it’s one person, even if it was because of a stupid corporate hashtag, it is worth it in the end.
I’m one of those people who when there are too many clouds outside, I feel like I’m under an emotional cloud as well. It’s been especially bad November and December this year when I’ve been working so much I don’t see the sun shine. I decided to invest in one of those weird fancy energy lamps. I settled on the Verilux Compact Happy Light which was both inexpensive and still pretty if it didn’t do anything.
So far my experience has been positive. I feel like I have much more energy after 30 minutes sitting near the lamp. I wouldn’t recommend sitting in front of it for more than an hour as it makes you feel as if you drank like five cups of coffee (and possibly find it difficult to sleep, especially if used in the evening). Placebo or not, it’s working for me!
I’m so excited to be energized, and happy.
My November blogs posts haven’t been very good. They are a bit uninspired, with few words and mostly just pictures that I found lying about. It wasn’t that I was particularly busy (after all summer is over), but my mind has been in a dark place. November depression is a real thing.
I’m still reluctant to talk about mental health at times, it is scary and I fear that whoever reads this will judge me but it’s important to talk about it. It’s especially meaningful for those that are dealing with the same thing to know that you’re not alone.
I don’t know what particularly about November that makes it so depressing. Summer is over, the days are shorter, the weather is colder. Leaving the house gets particularly hard, even when there are so many places to go. I feel burnt out and the more I start to thing about it, the deeper I fall.
I found that offline activites like colouring and lego have helped to take my mind off things. I’ve also been spending more social time with friends (that aren’t just attending concerts). From The Bloggess I learnt that depression lies. I just have to make my good days super awesome.
Let’s get through November together and look forward to an awesome December!
I love autumn, the temperature is perfect and nature is so beautiful! It is also time to relax after a relatively busy summer.
I have been focusing on spending more time with friends and myself. It’s time to recharge.
I still get anxious in social situations that involve other people. It’s taken time for me to not feel self-conscious, like the entire world is judging my every move.
As I grew older, I started to care less about what people thought of me and more of what I wanted to be, for myself.
this is me sitting in a box
It wasn’t until I was 24 or 25 that I embraced my own quirkiness, personality and openly discussed my anxiety with friends (thank you Static Zine
Being okay with myself includes the sometimes difficult task of ignoring negativity from people who don’t really have your best interests at heart. After all if they are so quick to react negatively, are they worth keeping around?
The Internet (twitter) made it easier to make new friends that share similar interests, anxieties and who somehow like the transparent person they see.
The people I choose to surround myself with are positive people. They are the ones that show up when I need them, the ones that splurge on food with me, unafraid to be silly or lend an ear.
My best friend and I talk about literally everything including our farts and poops. We can be idiots together or push ourselves to achieve our goals.
I can own my own Okayness because the people in my life are pretty okay too.