12 Days of Bullshit by Cards Against Humanity Roundup

IMG_1393Last month I participated in Cards Against Humanity’s 12 Days of Holiday Bullshit. For $22 (I had to pay more as a Canadian), the idea was that I would receive 12 individual gifts in the mail. Since the mail around the holidays was a bit crazy, I ended up getting my packages in chunks. Each came in envelopes with creative doodles.

Untitled-1In the end I received 10 envelopes. I was missing one the contained a lump of coal and on the 10th day our dollar was donated to DonorsChoose.org. I thought that was an awesome way to give back during the holidays.

IMG_1405About half of the packs were themed cards that could be added to existing Cards Against Humanity kits. They were as offensive as I’d expected. I personally don’t have a deck, but now I feel like I need one.

IMG_1394My favourite card was of course this one with my name on it. This could lead to some sticky situations.

IMG_1399 Day 6 included these really random posters from The Post Family. You can download your own versions of these posters here.

IMG_1401Day 8 was a commissioned funny pages which included works from Allie Brosh, Ryan North, John Campbell, Nick Gurewitch and more. All the comics can be read here.

IMG_1397What made this experience worth it was being the first to have access to Clusterfuck!, a new card game. It’s a simple game where the goal is to have a threesome.

“Clusterfuck is played in two phases. First, players go around the table and pass each other sexy notes. Once each player has passed notes, everyone closes their eyes and points to the people they want to hook up with with one or both hands.

Then, everyone opens their eyes. If two players are exclusively pointing to each other, they score, and each gets one point. If three players are all pointing to one another and forming a threesome they each get three points for their feat of sexual teamwork. The first player (or players) to get three or more points wins the game. A successful threesome immediately ends the game, just like Quidditch.”

IMG_1395I haven’t had a chance to try this game yet, as it requires a group of people (and not suited for family play) but it sounds hilarious. Just like Cards Against Humanity, you can download your own pdf version of the game on their website.

I didn’t expect any extravagant gifts from this experience, so I thought it was a lot of fun. I don’t own Cards Against Humanity because I mostly play it at Snakes and Lattes but now I feel like I should. I love mystery mail so I hope there will be more stuff like this in the future.

The Mystery of the Random Lighter

Yesterday, I opened the cubicle in which all our mail usually lay. Inside the dark hole perched a tiny grey package. It was addressed to me, and even included my phone number. There was no exact return address. It only mentioned Shen Zhen China and there were some Chinese words I couldn’t read. I was elated, thinking that one of the packages I had ordered off Ebay had finally arrived.

I ripped open the envelope to find a mysterious object wrapped in white foam. It was steel tubular object attached to a keychain. A knob could screw off and revealed a metal rod with what looked like a screw and a tiny bit of cloth at the end. I took a whiff of the inside of the tube and it smelt of gasoline. I was very confused. This was not the camera accessory, film or dog costume I had ordered. I had no idea what it was, so I took a photo of it and turned to Twitter.

A bunch of people assumed it was a tiny flask, but within minutes my question was answered. It was a flint fire starter, something people took camping and used to start fires in case of emergency. The question still remained, “Why was it sent to me?”.

Initially, I thought it may have been my 12 Days of Holiday bullshit so I took to Twitter to ask. Cards Against Humanity replied and said it would be very obvious it was from them. I guess they wouldn’t forget to include their own branding on their items. A confusing tube that could start fires was quite a quirky object so CAH was a good guess, but not the right one. Now I must wait until I get all my other orders and see which eBay seller sent me the wrong thing.

However, I could get all the right parcels and still be left with a flint lighter from a mysterious place. We’ll have to wait and find out.

I Think I’m A Recovering Hoarder

I was on a mission to clean my room. I had a gigantic garbage bag ready to throw things away but my mind kept going, I need this. Luckily, I got past that and finally uncluttered my drawers and closets full of things from the past. The majority of the things I threw out fell into one of these categories: