Poorly Written Song Commercials

I’m not talking about jingles. 1-800-267-2001. If you’re Canadian, I just got that stuck in your head right? Anyways, this post is about poorly written songs in commercials that don’t rhyme, and aren’t memorable in any way except for their suckiness. The most recent being this one which reiterates in different forms all over the Food Network.

Now did that entice you to buy chocolate in any way? Side note: I can’t believe people in the Youtube comments actually inquire the name/artist of the song as if it is legitimate.

However, the most guilty culprit of horrible commercials lies not in adult products, but the ones directed to little girls. For example, watch ANY Barbie commercial:

Who gets hired to sing these things? Do they make a lot of money? If so, where do I sign? This does rhyme, but the song itself isn’t really doing anything except singing what they are doing. Imagine if I was going through my day singing what I am doing in rhyme.


To be fair Barbie used to have good commercials. For instance this first commercial ever seems to have a better song. Or maybe everything sounds better when it’s sung in 1959 swing style.

This doesn’t seem to be the case for toys targeted to boys. They get more epic sounding songs with very enthusiastic voice-overs.

That looks fuckin’ awesome. Girls have to deal with more of these:

FYI, I always thought boys had cooler toys. I think my disdain for barbies, dolls and ponies comes from the fact that my ears were pretty musically trained at a young age. My future children are going watch their television streaming so they will never have to suffer through these.

What horrible song commercial have you seen lately? Perhaps it is too terrible to remember.

Who Should Blog?


A couple weeks ago, I wrote one of my many restaurant experiences on this blog. I hit publish and then proceeded to paste the link on my Facebook wall. Most of my friends enjoy reading of local eats, so I do the occasional share on social networks. A minute later somebody posted this rather passive aggressive Facebook status:

“Unless you know what a mirepoix, paysanne or bain-marie is you shouldn’t write about food. Eating out with a camera doesn’t make you a writer.”

Technically, it wasn’t personally directed at me, but the timing was just too perfect. For the record, I do know what all those things are without looking them up on Wikipedia. I do my fine share of making fried rice, cutting vegetables for stir fry and watching the food network. Anyways, all those things are irrelevant to what makes a blogger.

If you’re reading a food blog, unless it’s a recipe blog, nobody cares if the carrots were julienned. In the Yelp and Foursquare era, people just want to know that things taste good. That is what the food (books and other) posts are for, to give an opinion on something. If you don’t care about my opinion than kindly hit the x at the top right corner (or left if you’re on a Mac). Also, what are you doing here in the first place? I have a modest following of people who do care.

In the internet age, everyone has the right to blog. All food critics probably started out paying for meals themselves and evaluating them. Just like all music bloggers started out paying for concerts and practising their camera shots and reviews. Blogging is not a god-given right to somebody with a pretentious degree in a subject area. In fact I don’t think people would even want to read something with a lot of condescending jargon. Would anybody care if I told you some song had too many parallel 5ths? If you are passionate about a subject, or if you just like sharing things regularly then go ahead and blog.

I lulled on this subject for the past few weeks and then realized. Who cares what one dude thinks? As long as you can maintain readership and a following on your blog (even if it is a few really dedicated fans), then keep writing. You have every right to.

Ps. I love all my followersThank you for continuously following my life adventures and nerdism. I promise to bring you a lot more in 2013.

Comfortable Silences

There is a famous quote from Mia in Pulp Fiction that goes something like:

Don’t you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it’s necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence

I’m surprisingly (or not really) a semi-awkward person. Are’t we all? When I’m in an uncomfortable situation I tend to feel obliged to talk , blurt out something even if it ends up being really stupid because silence as the alternative is just too uncomfortable.

Luckily, I found someone who I can have comfortable silences with. That doesn’t mean we don’t talk (hell we can talk for hours), but we can appreciate quiet moments. Whether it’s staring into each other’s eyes and smiling or sitting in the same room on separate laptops, talking is not a requirement.

That Is Old News…

Yesterday we all learned the existence of Chadvil. An hour later I turned to Nash and said something along the lines of “WHY ON EARTH ARE PEOPLE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS? IT’S OLD NEWS. WHY ARE THEY JUST FINDING OUT NOW?” Then he asked me how something from an hour ago is considered old news. It made me ponder.

Before social networks the phrase “That’s yesterday’s news” was still a thing. Now with Twitter and Facebook we are inundated with vast amounts of information, and we are able to find out about things almost instantly. It’s scary to think that maybe years from now an hour ago will be too slow. Imagine what our future kids would say. That’s 5 seconds ago’s news.

Whether it’s celebrity deaths, world news, the viral video, they’re instantly forgotten about as soon as they are posted. It also makes me wonder how fast actual news outlets have to be in order for them to survive. That’s a bit frightening.

The Future of Music- A Book Written in 2005, Read in 2012

I won the Entertainment Marketing award when I graduated Metalworks Institute and it came with a $300 gift certificate to Music Books Plus. I’m slowly plowing through my books, but I recently finished The Future of Music- Manifesto for the Digital Music Revolution by David Kusek and Gerd Leonhard.

I read the entire book, but it didn’t take me long for me past the prologue to ask “When the hell was this written?” It was written in 2005.

While the book had some interesting points, such as music should be as easily accessible as water, there were predictions that were hilarious. Napster with a legal streaming service that works? Sorry, it was dead since it was sued. In 2005, Facebook was only a year old and the iPhone wasn’t even released for another 2 years. It’s strange to see how much has changed in 7 years, or even in my lifetime. I lived through vinyl, cassettes, CD players, MD players, mp3 players and now that has all shifted on to one device.

While the book does mention how our entertainment hubs will combine into one, it rarely mentioned Apple. It’s a well written book for someone who isn’t as knowledgeable about the music (or even entertainment) industry, but for someone like me who’s been through schooling, it was a little redundant and stating the obvious.

While technology has changed a bit, there are things that remain somewhat similar. Media companies are still trying to fight the consumer for downloading media, which as stated can only have negative impact. In addition, the book stresses the revolution of streaming music, which last year at every digital music summit, still seemed like a big deal. However, as some artist’s have stated, it takes thousands of listens to make a couple of bucks.

Even though there are a lot of things in this book that are laughable. I really liked the idea of future music being as ubiquitous as water. We pay for water without thinking about it. It’s routine. We even pay for premium water (in bottles, Evian etc..), with the guarantee that it is better than what comes out of taps. iTunes and streaming services are closer to a way of music being so easily accessible but not everyone is ready to pay for it like we do for our water yet, nor the most simple way. Whatever lies in the “future” of music, isn’t going to be a singular solution.

For your entertainment purposes here’s a list of other things that didn’t exist in 2005:
– Twitter
– iPad (or any other useful tablet for that matter)
– Youtube was a baby
Hypem had only just started
– PS3
– Justin Bieber

Do I Still Use Siri?

The 4S was my first iPhone and like everyone else I was captivated by Siri. Like everyone else, the first thing I did was ask it arbitrary questions.

What are you wearing?

What is the meaning of life

I soon realized that there were limitations to what Siri can do and that the commercials were overly glamorized. Here in Canada location services are unavailable, meaning we can’t even ask where the nearest restaurant is. Nor set location-based reminders.

So, what do I use Siri for?

I’ll tell you that I definitely don’t use it for texting. My message always comes out gibberish and nonsensical. You know how in the Siri commercial the guy is running and telling his iPhone to text a message? That’s impossible. Have you ever tried to clearly say a sentence while running? I don’t have an accent,(at least I’m pretty sure I don’t) but it can’t get my message right when I’m sitting still. To make matters worse, my boyfriend’s name is Nash which always comes out as “mash”.

He is doing the impossible

As a tech nerd, I decided to expand the capabilities by jailbreaking my phone and adding a little tweak called AssistantExtensions. It allowed me to do many things like tweet from my phone. However, for the same reasons as messaging, I don’t use it to tweet. You also can’t edit tweets, so whatever drunken gibberish was typed would send to all your followers.

So, do I still use Siri?

Yes, I do. I use it to set reminders, alarms and timers, mainly because I haven’t actually figured out how to set them manually yet. I also ask for the weather when I’m lazy to google and let it call people when I don’t want to sift through the phone book. However, it doesn’t always reach the right person, resulting in some really awkward phone calls.

Lastly, I use it to open programs. It’s one of the hacked tweaks but it’s quite useful since I managed all my apps into folders and sometimes can’t remember where I put them. If I yell “OPEN FACEBOOK!”, it will do just that. I won’t however do this in public. After all, I still think Bluetooth people look crazy, and I haven’t seen anybody yell at their 4S’s just yet.

Why I Dislike Grocery Shopping on the Weekends

Until I am full-time employed, I live in the suburbs at my parent’s house. This month they happened to be on a trip so I am here to fend for myself in terms of being fed. Throughout the week I collected flyers of the nearby supermarkets and circled items on sale. My parents had always gone grocery shopping on the weekend, so I thought it would be plausible to do the same. However, I discovered it is one of the worst things ever.

People forget how to drive shopping carts. It’s like all the people who drive in rush hour on a weekday some how congregated into the same supermarket. There is no order whatsoever. You just go whenever the path is clear. If ever. The only exception seems to be the organic food aisle. Have you seen the prices? It’s no wonder nobody goes down there. The worst offenders of shopping cart mayhem seem to be senile old people who seem to yell at you from every direction. I like to pretend that they probably drive like this too.

There’s more of a chance of running into somebody you know. I ran into the parent’s of one of the kids I used to teach. It was a pleasant encounter except for the fact I was trying to stock up on 5 packs of bacon. It makes things awkward when their cart consists of vegetables and organic cereals. Way to make me feel guilty. Not of my own eating habits of course, just that I’m the mockery of theirs.

It’s survival of the fittest. Why do you need 10 jugs of orange juice? I only wanted one for my sister. If you want to get any sales item, you must get there first. Run. And if you came to an empty rack, glare at the person who has a mountain on their cart.

The lines are like the ones at Disney World. Forget express lanes. People on weekends don’t know how to count. Hey dude in front of me you clearly have more than 10 items. I’m only trying to buy these two tomatoes. Again, you also get the senile old people and the people who pretend they don’t know English (and therefore the sign) who cut in front of you. This makes going to multiple stores for sales a pain in the ass.

If you’re a weekly weekend shopper, I tip my imaginary hat to you. You must be a trooper. As for me, I think I will avoid this trip for a more subdued time of week.

Why The Hunger Games is Less Retarded Than Twilight

I never jumped on the Twilight bandwagon, maybe because it’s semi-embarrassing to be associated with it. Also, I was never really that into the cliche idea of vampires and werewolves. Even if The Hunger Games shares similarities to Japanese movie Battle Royale and Steven King’s Running Man there are more reasons to love this new novel-turned-movie franchise.

I didn’t have to force my boyfriend to go see it. Like I had mentioned, The Hunger Games is less embarrassing and I didn’t have a problem convincing my boyfriend to go see it. Although there is the love triangle involved, the idea of a “chick flick” is masked with the idea of kids killing each other off.

Katniss Everdeen is way cooler than Bella Swan. Katniss is pretty bad-ass, a rebel that started a revolution. She is well loved and doesn’t want to commit to either man. Bella’s just some “average girl” in which anybody can take her place (that was the point right?), but Katniss has heart, character and history. I don’t want to be in Katniss’ shoes, but I want to read about adventure. I enjoyed her fearlessness and her independence. The National Review once said that Bella gets what she wants eventually “by giving up her identity and throwing away nearly everything in life that matters” I don’t really care much for Bella’s story and the fact that she will end up marrying and having a vampire baby.

The Hunger Games mocks our obsession with reality television. Whether or not it was intentional, The Hunger Games mocks our own society. If we’ve gone to extremes of making such things as Teen Mom a hit, what’s in the future of reality television? Will we have our own version of the Hunger Games? I don’t think Twilight makes us think about society in any way, unless it’s maybe that boy down the road is a vampire.

I sort of want a Mockingjay pin. I usually don’t like movie paraphernalia, but if it’s a token of being a rebel. Something like Edward’s face on my wall would be much more embarrassing.

In 3 not-so-long books, Suzanne Collins created a complicated world and it’s movie marketing campaign ingeniously created a tour of it’s Capitol. It didn’t rely on hot men, (although Gale and Peetah’s portrayal is not bad), or overly CG’d girls. You can see every imperfection on Jenniffer Lawrence, but that didn’t matter. I loved the cliffhangers in the end of every chapter of Suzanne Collin’s books. They were intelligently thought out but the only thing that makes Twilight books look smart is the intimidating size of their hardcovers.

Dear Pinterest, You Used to Be Cool

I remembered when Pinterest was beta and it was like an exclusive club where recipes and ideas were shared visually. I loved it. It was a place to look for inspiration when it came to food, crafts, fashion and decorations. Now it almost seems nothing more than another place where people can advertise.

Closed vs. Open Systems

look my notification has a nyan cat!
I finished the Steve Jobs biography the other night. It was a very insightful read on both his mind and his influence on the product world. He was so obsessive-compulsive in controlling the entire user experience: from the packaging, the stores, the physical product and the software. Immediately upon finishing the book, for some reason I jailbroke and tweaked my iPhone 4S.