Elf On The Shelf Is The World’s Most Frightening Christmas Trend

elfontheshelf

In November, I started hearing mentions of something called “Elf on the Shelf”. I had not previously known what this was and thought it was the next growing viral video sensation. Naturally, I eventually decided to Google it.

What I found was the latest in Christmas trends, and it was frightening. How it works is there is an elf. He comes with a book that you read to your children. The story goes that Santa can’t possibly know which little kids are naughty or nice so they sent an elf to come watch them and relay back to Santa. The rules are that the elf cannot be touched or it will lose its magic. Parents are supposed to put the elf in random places around the house while the child is not looking to provide the illusion that the thing is alive and is indeed watching.

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All this might seem okay and magical but LOOK AT THE ELF. His little beady eyes are the creepiest thing. It reminds me of Slappy, the dummy from Goosebumps. He is literally looking at you from an eerie angle. On top of this you are told that he exists to watch and listen. If I saw this thing as a child moving around in my house I’d lose my mind. Not in a good way. In a HOLY SHIT HE IS GOING TO KILL ME┬ásort of way. Because I was that sort of child.

I was a smart child. I would have figured that this thing was here to ruin my ability to be naughty. I wouldn’t be able to eat copious amounts of holiday candy or take sneak peeks at my presents. Every time I thought about getting into mischief would be questioned by this lingering elf. Ultimately, I’d get mad and want to defeat it, despite still thinking it was the scariest thing ever. Sooner or later I’d go up to it and touch it and allow it to lose its magic. Then I’d rip his head off so there would be no way it could report back to Santa. Then I’d be the winner of Christmas.

In reality, we all know Santa is not real and that parents will buy their kids presents no matter what.

Be Your Own Fashion


Yesterday I was raiding my closet and I found a bag of clothes that I had put away. They were shut away not because I didn’t like them or that they looked bad. It was because my ex hated frilly things and would always make fun of me if I wore anything slightly non-fitted or too “cute” or out-of-the-box. Basically, if I wasn’t some cookie cutter hot girl then he hated it and I dressed different around him than I did anybody else.

Now with my new found freedom, I was left there thinking. What is my fashion? My answer, my own.

I’m not the type of girl who buys things for the brand. I love it when someone asks me where I got something, and sometimes my answer is literally “I have no idea” or “I don’t remember”. It’s wonderful having something that nobody else does. I don’t go through sales racks and buy things for the sole reason that they are on sale. Most of my buys have been emotional compulsive buys of things I’ve fallen in love with on first sight. I have a habit of buying pieces rather than full outfits. I adore things that are unique.

What is your fashion? I am anything but one thing. Not exactly normal either. I have constantly changing hair colour, which is currently blonde. I have blue, turquoise, purple contacts which I wear in rotation. Sometimes I wear socks that don’t match, heels that are much too high. I have t-shirts with pictures of food on them, dresses that are a little strange and recycled pieces I made from projects on Cut Out and Keep. One day I’ll be a complete dork, the next make boys heads turn. My wardrobe pretty much reflects my ADD all-over-the-place personality.

I love looking at people and trying to guess what they’re like from their clothes. It’s even more fascinating when you actually talk to them and are blown away by the fact you were completely wrong. They weren’t the cookie-cutter person their clothes made them out to be. They weren’t the person their clothes defined them out to be. They weren’t the goth, ghetto or as superficial as the appeared. This goes both ways, girls and guys.

I have a little sister who’s probably everything that I’m not. I never understood the falling in love with a brand or a certain style. Buying the Ed Hardy T-shirt everyone else has? Wearing the same dress as a celebrity? Dressing up as a skater, punk, hipster? Be your own trend. It doesn’t mean you can’t be one of those some days, just don’t stick a label on yourself. I’m sure you are much more interesting. Try owning something that you haven’t had before but was too afraid to try on because you thought someone wouldn’t like it. Just make sure it fits right, that’s the only rule. I guarantee you will get compliments, get noticed. Why blend into the background? Be your own fashion.