Entertainment – Page 21

Poorly Written Song Commercials

January 8, 2013Entertainment, Music, TV1 Comment

I’m not talking about jingles. 1-800-267-2001. If you’re Canadian, I just got that stuck in your head right? Anyways, this post is about poorly written songs in commercials that don’t rhyme, and aren’t memorable in any way except for their suckiness. The most recent being this one which reiterates in different forms all over the Food Network.

Now did that entice you to buy chocolate in any way? Side note: I can’t believe people in the Youtube comments actually inquire the name/artist of the song as if it is legitimate.

However, the most guilty culprit of horrible commercials lies not in adult products, but the ones directed to little girls. For example, watch ANY Barbie commercial:

Who gets hired to sing these things? Do they make a lot of money? If so, where do I sign? This does rhyme, but the song itself isn’t really doing anything except singing what they are doing. Imagine if I was going through my day singing what I am doing in rhyme.

“I AM WAKING UP NOW. GOING TO DRINK SOME MILK OUT OF A COW.”

To be fair Barbie used to have good commercials. For instance this first commercial ever seems to have a better song. Or maybe everything sounds better when it’s sung in 1959 swing style.

This doesn’t seem to be the case for toys targeted to boys. They get more epic sounding songs with very enthusiastic voice-overs.

That looks fuckin’ awesome. Girls have to deal with more of these:

FYI, I always thought boys had cooler toys. I think my disdain for barbies, dolls and ponies comes from the fact that my ears were pretty musically trained at a young age. My future children are going watch their television streaming so they will never have to suffer through these.

What horrible song commercial have you seen lately? Perhaps it is too terrible to remember.

I Don’t Have A Cat But…

January 4, 2013March 10, 2013Books, Entertainment, PetsLeave a Comment

I have a new found appreciation for cats. As you know, I am a proud dog owner. Previously, I was not very fond of cats. I always thought they were rather frightening, unkind and boring.

By some strange coincidence yesterday, I read I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano and The Oatmeal’s How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.

I read How To Tell If Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You first. To be honest I wasn’t a big fan of The Bobcats mini-series that focused on these cat characters being jerks in the workplace. The majority of the book was devoted to this “mini-series”. For something by The Oatmeal creator, it was somewhat of a let-down.

My favourite illustrations were the other sections such as if humans and cats changed roles and the comic strips illustrating the much more realistic behaviour of cats. Of course there was also classics like Cats vs. The Internet and How to Pet a Kitty.

i could pee on that

Marciuliano’s book explored the mind of a cat through a series of hilarious free verse poems. There are four categories of poems: family, work, play and existence.

If I had to buy a book for a cat lover it would be this one. The poems illustrate why cats do certain devious things and that perhaps we are misunderstanding them as human beings. Most of the poems start off in a vague manner and it is not until the end that you understand what the cat is doing; whether it be knocking down a vase or scratching itself in the mirror. In between poems there are also adorable cat photos related to the writing.

I don’t plan on getting a cat any time soon (or ever), but in reading these books I definitely don’t think they are boring anymore. On a random note, if you do like cats I found this random site called Catmoji which is like a Pinterest for cats.

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

January 3, 2013Books, EntertainmentLeave a Comment

Did you know Patton Oswalt was the voice of Remy from Ratatouille? Also he wrote this book called Zombie Spaceship Wasteland. What is this book about? That is a question that is very difficult to answer. The book is about many things, and at the same time nothing at all. Each chapter there is a new theme, a new story, idea, joke. However it is guaranteed that you will end up laughing your ass off at some point or another.

Without revealing too much, there are parts of the book that deal with Oswalt’s earlier experiences as a comedian, which are rather dark. He also takes lessons from REM lyrics. However the rest includes everything from hobo songs to my favourite section of horrible screenplays written by Erik Blevins. Someone PLEASE make a Slade Ripfire movie.

If you are into Patton Oswalt’s comedy, you’ll love this book. Here’s a really random Patton Oswalt video that has nothing to do with the book:

Musicophilia- Tales of Music and the Brain by Oliver Sacks

November 26, 2012Books, Entertainment, MusicLeave a Comment

Musicophilia a book by neurologist Oliver Sacks had been a compulsive buy a year ago. Anything to do with music and the brain I find fascinating but a busy schedule had turned me away from a book that was 424 pages long and what I presumed would be written in flourished language.

I was surprised to find that it was written in a very easily digestible manner and extraordinarily fascinating. Sacks explored in great detail people’s mental afflictions and the heartbreaking affect music had on these people. I thought it was extremely spell-bounding how those who couldn’t even add 5 + 3 were exceptionally musical.

Musicophilia has 4 different sections full of their own emotionally drenched stories:
1. Haunted By Music– those that have very little control over the music in their lives.
2. A Range of Musicality– exceptionally musical people despite other impairments.
3. Memory, Movement and Music– music inducing memory and movement.
4. Emotion, Identity and Music– those that hardly know who they are but connect with music.

I have the “Revised and Expanded” edition so there are footnotes as long as half the page. They often include updates on his patients as well as easy to understand definitions of medical afflictions and terminology that the reader may not have known. Those who have a passion for psychology or cognitive science may find this book mesmerizing. There are plenty of examples that demonstrate the thought-provoking and mysterious powers of music. I don’t want to reveal too much in case you plan to read this book. One thing of note is that it is sub-titled Tales of Music and the Brain so expect it to be very anecdotal and not necessarily filled with tons of scientific analysis as one would presume in a cognitive science book.

Musicophilia really made me wish I had seriously considered pursuing (or perhaps continuing studies for) a degree in Music Therapy.

Being An Imperfect Musician

November 19, 2012March 10, 2013Art, Entertainment, Inspiration, Life, Music1 Comment

I played piano today, and I enjoyed it. This was a statement I had not been able to say for a long time.

Over a year ago I had posted about rekindling my love for the instrument, but it never really happened. Life got in the way- or so I thought.

I blamed a lot of not playing on being busy, which I was with various internships. I also pushed the piano aside because Teddy (my precious little puppy) hated the sound and would howl whenever any instrument was played.

Though the above were contributing factors, none of them really explained why I was avoiding the piano. The truth was that in fourth year after a rather disastrous jury, I was tired and frustrated at the piano.

I am a big cognitive science junkie. In Levtin’s book This is Your Brain On Music he talks about how 10,000 hours of practice makes a great musician. I calculated that if I started piano when I was five and averaged about 2 hours a day since then (with the long hours in my advanced years evening out the early years and holidays) that it amounted to something like 12,410 hours. This was approximate number of hours I had spent at a piano from when I was 5 up to the day of my piano jury when I was 22 (I am currently 24).

It was disheartening having put in more than the required 10,000 hours and be far from “perfect”. This anxiety had caused me to be afraid of performing in front of other people. “What if I mess up?” was a constant worry during the hours spent in university practice rooms. The consequence of this unease was more intense practicing and the development of carpel tunnel (which I am happy to say I don’t have any more).

Today I sat at the piano without too much thought about it. I picked up a book of Chopin waltzes and simply started playing. I realized some of my strengths:
1. I am a great sight reader.
2. If I played a song once, my fingers will remember it forever no matter how long it’s been since I last played it.

Though imperfectly, it was nice to be playing again, especially the music of my favourite composer. Now that I am out of school (and finished RCM exams), I don’t have to be playing under the pretense of needing to be perfect or performing for somebody else. I can also explore pieces that excite me and not have to drill them to perfection. I want to continuously enjoy performing for myself. And for me, imperfect is okay.

What I Learned from Wreck-It Ralph

November 6, 2012March 10, 2013Entertainment, MoviesLeave a Comment

Wreck-it Ralph was a highly enjoyable movie and worth it for the tidbits of nerd gamer references including the Pac Man kill screen at the end of the credits. The character building was fantastic and I particularly loved the Candy world.

Since this is a Disney movie so there were lessons to be learned:

– Just because you’re somewhat of a clutz, doesn’t mean you’re a bad guy
– Society as a whole matters more than your own happiness
– Speak out and do something if you’re not happy, things will change
– It’s okay to get thrown off of a building as long as you get cake afterwards
– If you tell someone they’re “one dynamite girl” enough times, they will fall in love with you
– If you ever need some light the mixture of mentos and hot diet cola results in a very bright explosion

JPod – Douglas Coupland

September 17, 2012Books, Entertainment1 Comment

Recently I read Douglas Coupland’s JPod and thought that it would be more appropriately titled “I FUCKIN’ HATE DOUGLAS COUPLAND!!!”.

The reason for this is he writes himself in as one of the book’s most annoying characters. He makes references to himself at the beginning and then appears at very odd moments during the book. The plot in the 3rd part of the book revolves around the main character’s (Ethan) friends and family talking about this secret project with Coupland that is completely confidential. Ethan is left out of this investment until the very end. When you find out what it is (an electronic globe of some sort), it is an underwhelming end to the book. What does a globe have to do with a group of people who code and create video games?

This book left me a bit conflicted. While it was a very and fun read, the plot left me underwhelmed and disliking the author. I’m not sure if that was Coupland’s intention, but if it was than he was successful. It was really fun to follow jPod’s office antics. The characters themselves were all damaged and unique in their own special way. The things that happened were extreme and took really unexpected turns. Some things were blown out of proportion though and in some ways I wish the story was more believable. Maybe he was aiming for that “WTF” factor but it resulted in the book having very little substance.

Ethan’s mother runs a marijuana grow-op and gets herself into trouble with men (and women) who fall in love with her. His father is a wannabe actor who has an affair with Ethan’s schoolmates. His brother sells sketchy real estate. They all become friends with an Asian mobster kingpin in charge of human trafficking. Entertaining, but bizarre. I just wish the end had more meaning or point to it. In the end I was left unsatisfied.

Board Games: Blokus 3D, Q-Bert and Formula D

September 14, 2012Board Games, Entertainment1 Comment

Here’s another round of interesting board games from Snakes and Lattes.

Blokus 3D Game was 3 dimensional take on the original game of Blokus. The difference was that in this game you had to touch the sides of one of your blocks (where as in the original you can’t) while building the required 3D shape.

The game comes with a few templates of 3D things to build and diagrams of how they look depending on the amount of participants. The object of the game: to get rid of all your blocks. The challenge came when building the 3D object, not all pieces were the right fit.

Next we found this Q-Bert Board Game. It dates back to 1983, and totally looks that way.

The goal of the game was to take turns being Q-Bert and getting more pegs than your opponent. Your opponent played all the nasty characters such as Coily, Slick, Ugg, green and red balls. The game was complete with flying discs that would take Q-Bert to safety.

I grabbed a random racing game called Formula D.

The game worked like a regular roll-the-dice and move type of game except with cars on a road. It also involved shifting gears and protecting your car parts from dying. There were enough pieces for up to 8 players. The first one to get to the finish line, or the last to be destroyed was the winner.

That’s all for now, I’m sure I will explore some more board games soon!

The Book of Lost Things – John Connolly

September 10, 2012Books, EntertainmentLeave a Comment

At first glance, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly entices you with it’s beautiful golden cover and a leaflet that describes adventure. It appears to be a beautiful little fairy tale for children. However it is anything but that.

The book isn’t really geared towards children as there is plenty of violence and gore. In addition, the first half of the book I found really hard to get through because David, our hero, spends most of it mourning over the loss of his mother.

The book also ruins some classic fairytales by twisting them in morbid ways. There’s the Crooked Man who is a parody of Rumpelstiltskin, Little Red Riding Hood who had sex with a wolf and basically created the twisted “Loups”, a very obese Snow White and a few others.

This all just to teach a little boy that he should not hate his stepmother or be jealous of his step brother. It’s definitely a tale for adults who grew up on fairy tales and maybe explored the realms of Brother’s Grimm. It definitely wasn’t one of those you can’t put down type of books. Major plot holes were resolved in a quick manner towards the very end. In the end I was left unsatisfied.

Board Games: Starcraft, Mille Bornes, Crocodile Dentist, Pop-Up Pirate, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

August 30, 2012March 10, 2013Board Games, Entertainment, Food1 Comment

On Tuesday we got really bored of the CNE after 2 hours so we decided to waste the rest of the day at Snakes & Lattes. Since we had an unlimited amount of time we started with a rather complicated board game.

Sitting high on a shelf was Starcraft: The Board Game. I asked one of the employees to lend me a hand and his words were: “You don’t want to play that game. I’ve never seen anybody finish that game. They’d take 1 hour to read instructions, and another to set it up.” I wasn’t going to give up though and part of me really just wanted to prove him wrong.

There are around 60 pages of instructions but we read and setup the thing at the same time. It took around 2 hours to get through one game. The game actually plays a lot like the video game. There’s resources, units, fights and areas to take over. It’s like a card game and a board game in one. I don’t think there’s an easier way they could have written the instructions but it did take a bit to figure out. Once you play it once though, the second time is easy peasy. The game allows up to 6 players and it would have been even better with more than 2 people but explaining the game is the challenge.

After the Starcraft game we needed something a bit more brainless. Nash taught me how to play Mille Bornes.

The goal of the game is simply to get up to 1000 mph. There are distractions such as flat tires, red lights and other things that you can hinder your opponent with.

Then for some reason we went completely brainless and opted to play some children’s game starting with Crocodile Dentist.

It’s one of those games I really wanted to try as a kid because of those enticing YTV ads. It’s actually not that fun when you’re a grown up though because there’s a way of pushing down on the teeth to ensure that he won’t ensnare you.

Pop-Up Pirate did not require any brain power either. However, the first time through it scared the hell out of me when Nash poked a sword through and sent him flying. It was unexpectedly loud as it popped up.

We finished the day off with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pizza Power Board Game. It was probably the most “board game” like thing we played the entire day with the exception of how you kill the bad guys. There was this dice bouncing seesaw thing where you had to bounce it into the right square. It was challenging.

I seriously wish I lived near at (or atleast near Snakes and Lattes). I don’t think you could ever get bored there with the HUGE selections of games they have for you to play. I’ll definitely be back, even if it’s to eat this prosciutto and brie sandwich again: