I cannot think of any reason why you would’ve chose our house out of all the ones on the block. We do not know you and have never provoked you in anyway. I’m sorry for whatever reason you think that we deserved to spend a few hours cleaning our window.

I’m sorry you have nothing better to do on a Wednesday night but get into mischief in the freezing cold. I thought that in age of video game systems, social media, computers, awesome toys, there would be hundreds of other things to do. Sorry your life lacks those things and had to spend all your money on eggs instead.

I’m sorry that the eggs didn’t stain my house. They took mom an hour to clean, but it eventually got removed.

I’m sorry your mother has never told you not to waste food. Think of all the starving people all over the world who would have loved to eat those eggs.

I’m sorry you like Justin Bieber because that’s the only way you’d think egging is cool. Justin Bieber is not cool. I’m sorry that you have been brainwashed.

I’m sorry that I didn’t catch your face or your name but next time I’ll make it up to you and post it on all my social feeds so the world can know cool you think you are.