bff – Tiana Feng

I still get anxious in social situations that involve other people. It’s taken time for me to not feel self-conscious, like the entire world is judging my every move.

As I grew older, I started to care less about what people thought of me and more of what I wanted to be, for myself.

It wasn’t until I was 24 or 25 that I embraced my own quirkiness, personality and openly discussed my anxiety with friends (thank you Static Zine).

Being okay with myself includes the sometimes difficult task of ignoring negativity from people who don’t really have your best interests at heart. After all if they are so quick to react negatively, are they worth keeping around?

The Internet (twitter) made it easier to make new friends that share similar interests, anxieties and who somehow like the transparent person they see.

The people I choose to surround myself with are positive people. They are the ones that show up when I need them, the ones that splurge on food with me, unafraid to be silly or lend an ear.

My best friend and I talk about literally everything including our farts and poops. We can be idiots together or push ourselves to achieve our goals.

I can own my own Okayness because the people in my life are pretty okay too.

Recently, someone asked me how I have such a great relationship with best friend who is in another province. We actually didn’t even see each other for almost 3 years prior to her wedding in October. While it feels almost natural for me, I’d like to offer some tips for people who’s friends are moving far away and how to best keep that connection.

Talk frequently, in whatever channel works conveniently for both you. It might be a phone call, text message, FB chat, Snapchat.

Be willing to listen. Just because you’re far away doesn’t mean you can’t listen and talk your friend through life’s problems. Don’t wait until everything is fine and dandy to chat.

Be there when they need it. This sort of relates to the last point but a friend will always value those that make an effort. Also if they really want you there for a serious life event like a wedding, you do whatever it takes to get on that plane/bus/whatever.

Take challenges together. Do you have a mutual goal you’d like to achieve? For Laura and I, it’s currently blogging everyday. Having a common goal can help strengthen the bond because you can also talk about that goal or hobby together.

Make sure the feeling is mutual. Long distance friendships aren’t for everyone. An important question to ask is why the other person is moving away. Some people just want to move away for a fresh start. In that case, the friend may not want to keep touch. But you can always offer them the chance to connect if they change their mind.