Tag: journal

Owning My Okayness

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I still get anxious in social situations that involve other people. It’s taken time for me to not feel self-conscious, like the entire world is judging my every move.

 

As I grew older, I started to care less about what people thought of me and more of what I wanted to be, for myself.

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this is me sitting in a box
It wasn’t until I was 24 or 25 that I embraced my own quirkiness, personality and openly discussed my anxiety with friends (thank you Static Zine).

Being okay with myself includes the sometimes difficult task of ignoring negativity from people who don’t really have your best interests at heart. After all if they are so quick to react negatively, are they worth keeping around?

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The Internet (twitter) made it easier to make new friends that share similar interests, anxieties and who somehow like the transparent person they see.

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The people I choose to surround myself with are positive people. They are the ones that show up when I need them, the ones that splurge on food with me, unafraid to be silly or lend an ear.

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My best friend and I talk about literally everything including our farts and poops. We can be idiots together or push ourselves to achieve our goals.

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I can own my own Okayness because the people in my life are pretty okay too.

Life is Sweet

Categories 30 Day Challenge, Food, LifeLeave a Comment on Life is Sweet

August just started and I think for this month I want to continue the optimistic outlook on life that I strove for in April. My life is sweet right now and I’m happy with how things are. I have had so many adventures and there are still many more to come in the next few weeks.

Tonight, I’m just chilling and having ice cream with the boyfriend! Everything is perfect.

Passing 200

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Here’s a random photo of Teddy to celebrate

Today is the 216th day in a row that I’ve been blogging. I zoomed passed 200 and didn’t even notice. I also happened to have passed the 200 vlog mark!. Both are amazing feats.

Last year, I never would have dreamed to even go one month blogging everyday. Now I don’t really see an end in site. When I started vlogging (though I’ve slowed down a little now) I was very camera shy and didn’t really like speaking to camera, now it comes a bit easier.

I recently read an article about how someone wrote a haiku every day for 100 days and she learned some very similar lessons as I have. I learned to put myself out there even if some posts are dumb and there are frequently mistakes. No longer do I have a notebook or lists full of ideas that went no where. I made them go somewhere, I hit publish, even if part of me thought some things were unfinished.

I’m really excited to continue doing this every day. I feel like there’s enough in me to find something everyday. You really do have time to do the thing you wish you did “more” of, whether it’s writing, drawing, reading etc. Start by setting a goal. To do it every day.

My Sister Turned 25

Categories Family, Food, Life2 Comments on My Sister Turned 25

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My little sister just turned 25. I can’t believe it! It makes me feel ancient. We celebrated over the weekend with a Caramel Crunch cake. Here are some random photos of us posing at it:
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Blowing out the candles:

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We also had dinner at a random Chinese restaurant we’ve never been to and tried their Xiao Long Baos and something called “Sweet and Sour Fried Fish In a Squirrel Shape”. I’m not entirely sure where they get the “squirrel” from, but it does make for some great photos!
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I May Be A Robot

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Sometimes I’m like a robot. I have a set of tasks I need to get done before I let myself go to bed. I’ll go on for weeks and months like this.

Then eventually like a robot, I break down a little. I get tired, anxious, stressed out, maybe even depressed. It’s awkward to talk about but at times talking about it is the greatest way to fix it. I  need to let myself relax, without thinking about the a million things (there are always things) that I could/should be doing. I’m like a robot that needs to stay on the task at hand and doesn’t know anything else.

This weekend, I’m letting myself relax. Some e-mails will go unanswered. Some posts will go unwritten. Walks will be taken. Food will be eaten. Naps will be taken. Robots need to be recharged once in a while, and I do too.

Passed Halfway

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Cheers! This is my 184th blog post in a row this year. That means I’ve more than passed blogging every day for the entire year. The most incredible part is my best friend has also achieved this goal.

It hasn’t been easy. The last month and a half or so have been some of the craziest in terms of work and festivals. There were a couple of times where I became super close to forgetting (like seriously I was blogging at 11pm) but I managed to get in a post every day. Having a smartphone really helps when you are in a bind. The WordPress app for iOS isn’t perfect, but it’s sufficient enough to at least upload a photo and type some words.

Though sometimes the quality isn’t the greatest, I am super happy with all my posts. I have become less critical about publishing my work and find it a lot easier to speak my mind. I like to write down ideas (or even entire posts) as soon as they come to mind, so a lot of my writing has been happening on the go on my phone. I contemplate carrying around a notebook (and you know I love Moleskines) but having a digital notebook in my pocket is just so convenient.

The summer business stretch isn’t over yet! But I’m not quitting. Besides the busier I am, the more ideas and photos I have to blog about! It’s a win win.

Life is a continuous adventure and I love sharing it with all you here.

Video Round-Up: Army Girls, Bunch of Stuff, A Concert in A Park

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Sorry for the lack of Vlog updates! I hate editing video.. like I say so in this video:

Birchbox haul + photoshop magnets + new camera backpack:

I sit on a couch in the park and watch a concert:

Becoming a Little Less Introverted

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I am an introvert. I read a wonderful post on Lifehacker that properly defined what an introvert is. Introverts aren’t always shy or hate people. The big identifying factor is that social interactions take energy. They can wear me out.

Recently I have been pushing myself a little bit harder to use more of this energy. This can be super hard after work. But I’ve been attending more events, meetups and facing my fears to talk to new people. Call it a second wind, but I never regret it when I am in front of great people. It even starts to energize me.

That being said, I will never not be an introvert, I don’t think that’s a personality trait you can change. I will always appreciate quiet time where I can read, write or create art.

A Lot Can Happen in 5 Years

Categories LifeLeave a Comment on A Lot Can Happen in 5 Years

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The dude and I ❤️😍

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A friend and I recently were lamenting the old days and we realized, some of the memories we were thinking of were over 5 years ago. It’s been a crazy five years. So much has happened and I’m a much different person than I once was. To think that this blog didn’t even exist in this form 5 years ago is totally weird.

I’ve made so many gigantic life decisions in this time. I left an emotionally-abusive ex. I steered myself in a different direction after finishing my Bachelors of Music. These were two of the best choices I have ever made. I became more in charge of my emotions and gained a more stable state of mind.

I faced some fears and met so many great people. I got to chat with Johnny Cupcakes and hang out with Chris Pirillo (and even appeared on his Vlog). Some of my Twitter friends became real life ones and this is still an ongoing thing.

I photographed my first music festivals, and then became a sort of veteran in the pit. I tried so many new restaurants and ate a lot of new food. I grew a social media following that allowed me to do some really random things. I interned and worked at some unexpected things.

I watched my best friend get married and was her maid of honour. I met Nash, the love of my life and partner in shenanigans. He even met my parents.

What these five years have really taught me were to take risks, seek adventure, be positie and to honour who I am. I know that I’ll never stop going on tiny adventures and I’m excited to reflect again in 5 years!

I Went to Bestival

Categories Entertainment, Life, MusicLeave a Comment on I Went to Bestival

A few weeks ago, I went to Bestival. While the music was heavy on DJ sets (which I’m not the biggest fan of), I still had a lot of fun. There were a lot of things that this festival did differently that made the overall experience an interesting one.

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Finally inside @bestivaltoronto

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There were plenty of things to do besides see music, including a tent where you could knit.

People got married in an inflatable church with a rapping pastor.

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Hammock #selfie at @bestivaltoronto #getcurious

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There were hammocks.

Sponsor Perrier brought in a private greenhouse party.

I randomly received a free signed Owen Pallett CD from Fido for tweeting about the festival!

You could drink fruit juice out of the fruit.

and of course the food was delicious! Will talk more on that later.