The Opposite of Loneliness

I recently finished The Opposite of Loneliness, a collection of essays and stories from a budding writer who died of a tragic car crash after graduation.

There are profound essays from Keegan herself as a student of Yale, critical and hopeful that all her fellow students pursue things that ring true to themselves instead of taking the easier paths. There are also many short stories through the eyes of different people, an exterminator, a strange old lady who takes off her clothes, teens in love or indifferent of love.

There’s one common theme in all these stories is that the characters themselves experience loneliness in their own way. An emptiness that never quite seems to fulfill. In this way the book is kind of depressing, but I enjoyed Keegan’s easy to digest style of writing that never comes off as pretentious or older than she seems. She writes in the voices and visions of each of her characters in a way that puts the reader in their shoes.

It’s a shame that we will never truly know what the things Keegan could have wrote as she grew older. It will be a literary world we’ll never know.

Things I Didn’t Purchase Last Month

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 5.55.41 PM
Last month I spent 31 days not buying anything online. In doing this, I saved a lot of money. Here is a record of some of the useless things that I would’ve purchased if it weren’t for this challenge. These are not a joke:

A hoodie built for napping

Lego Minifigures with my face on them

Dog pants

A hoodie with earbuds in it

Advanced Lunchbox

• Copious amounts of cosmetic sets

• A fancy office chair

• Compulsively bought a replacement Kindle for my broken Kobo (but thankfully I went to the Apple Store the next day and got an iPad)

Keyboard Waffle Iron

Cake Earrings

I Met Some Of My Best Friends On The Internet

View this post on Instagram

Love these peeps 😘

A post shared by Tiana Feng (@tianafeng) on

It would’ve been super weird to say maybe a few years ago, but I met some of my best friends on the internet. I thought it would be very hard to revamp the friend wheel post-school but the web makes it so much easier to find people with similar interests. Often you know what they’re like before you even meet up in person.

But how do you hang out in real life? you may ask. It can start with an invitation to coffee or a meet up with a group of people. The web has made going up to randoms a little bit easier with the phrase, “Hey, I follow you on Twitter!”

Put That Phone Down

Yesterday I went to a Jazz Cartier secret show as an invited guests. Other people cryptically texted a number in a photo and went through a series of clues to get in. As soon we entered, we were told there was no photos or video to be taken. No snapchat or anything allowed.

“Aw crap,” I thought as I had come to this event alone, not knowing if anyone I was familiar with would be attending. After-all it was an exclusive event.

We walked up the stairs to people dressed as hotel stewards, who took our names and coats. On the tables were typewriters as well as roses. The setup was elaborately thought off for the album launch. I absorbed it all in with my eyes instead of my phone.

I had a bit of anxiety trying to figure out what to do since I didn’t see any of my friends around and I couldn’t have a camera to keep me distracted before the show started so I started to talk to people and met some new folks.

I’ve been in the industry for a years now but I still get anxious talking to new people. I’ll have weird thoughts like what if they hate me? or am I wearing the wrong shoes? or how do I not talk about the weather? Like all things, these diminish with practice and I do want to get better at it. The easiest thing is to go somewhere where no cameras are allowed, failing that, just putting the phone down for a little bit is enough.

Adjusting my Photo Goal

Screen Shot 2016-01-24 at 8.33.16 PM

I had previously set a goal to take a photo a day for 2016 and upload in tookapic. I did this for approximately 47 days in a row and decided that this wasn’t the best challenge for me. I wasn’t proud of my output and it became a game of quantity over quality.

Taking a photo a day isn’t as easy as blogging. With blogging you can have a catalog of ideas that you write later. Taking a photo a day requires going out and doing stuff often and something that is unrealistic when I work 9-5. Sure, I could take photos of things on my commute and at home, but that becomes stale fast.

Instead, I decided to stop uploading to my tookapic account. I pledge instead to take more thoughtful photos when inspired. Where I upload them shouldn’t matter, plus that’s what this blog is for. That way I only have one daily goal (which is to remain blogging every day) and still have enough time in my day for relaxation and exploring all other creative avenues. I’ll still take my cameras everywhere I go. Taking a photo a day was starting to stress me out and create work that didn’t inspire me.

At first I considered stopping a failure of my resolution but in reality, it’s perfectly fine to adjust your resolutions to fit reality.

Thank You For 500+ Subscribers!

me

I don’t know what kind of crazy people follow this blog where I do nothing but talk about myself and other random subjects, but thank you all for your support!

I love everyone and all your comments and encouraging feedback. Blogging has changed my life in so many ways: socially, professionally, personally, mentally. I couldn’t even fathom what my life would be like if I didn’t blog.

Spark Planning My Life

DSCF6999-2
I added little tabs so I could keep track of months.

I love notebooks, but I’ve always been really bad with filling them in. I found a lot of planners didn’t guide life in a valuable way. Often they were full of schedules denoting what you are doing at every hour every day. The hours where you had nothing plan would just be a waste of half a sheet of paper. I gave up on purchasing daily planners for the past couple of years until I stumbled on and Kickstarted the Spark Planner for 2016.

DSCF7214

It begins with defining a 2016 theme and having a space to brainstorm all the things I want to achieve this year. There’s even a space to mark the dates you make those achievements on the next page. I decided that my main theme for this year is to be Brave & Creative. I’m still defining some top goals but I jotted down some weird ones.

DSCF7133

Along with your regular monthly calendars there is what is called a “Weekly Outlook”. I love this because you can plan your days without defining every single hour (a thing which I obviously hate). This gives you a general guideline of things you want done and is actually far more motivating. Plus, if you have nothing to write they make good doodle boxes.

DSCF7134

There’s also a weekly goals page and space to reflect and celebrate. Occasionally there are also random reflection questions that you can answer in point form or write an essay if you really wanted to.

I’m super excited for this journal and know that it will help me be the best me that I can be in 2016!

Merry Christmas Eve!

  
I am currently out for Christmas Eve dinner with the fam! Here’s a photo of Teddy as Santa for your viewing pleasure.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is Around the Corner

DSCF6871

Christmas is around the corner! A lot of people are already off work already (not me though) so it’s all jolly times. Currently recovering from a party, running some errands, off to a concert so I will keep it short tonight! Enjoy this above photo taken in Yorkville.

Upgrading Life

DSCF6822
November had me stuck in a rut. I wasn’t feeling myself. December is a little bit better. I don’t know if it just took me a bit of time to adjust to shorter days or something.

Sometimes, you just have to take time re-evaluate everything in your life and decide what’s important and ways to make change. For instance, I decided to see if I could cure my SADS with a mood lamp that emulates the sun. It’s on it’s way from Amazon world, so I’ll let you know how that goes. End of year is also a good time to look at all goals and decide on how to upgrade them next year. You’ll just have to wait to see what I come with!